Read the fine print

Everybody knows the fine print is where the real info is. Unfortunately for me, testosterone does not come with fine print. Yes, there are many well-known side-effects listed and places to find what will probably happen when you take it. But it also says that there's no way to know EXACTLY how testosterone will affect you because everyone's body processes it differently. So you're basically running a "mini experiment" on yourself. I'm currently running a mini experiment on myself.

I started taking testosterone about a month ago, with just one shot a month. And I recently had my second shot. Let me tell ya, those side-effects are REAL. Unfortunately, I'm only getting what could be classified as the "bad" or "negative" side-effects first. I still haven't seen any of the "good" ones take effect on me. And these "bad" side-effects are pretty annoying, ya know. I've been getting very moody, and I still live with my parents so you know what that means. I recently shared in one of the LGBTQ support groups I visit, that I had one day gotten unbelievably angry at A PIECE OF LASAGNA. Even today, I got angry at my mother for making two grocery lists just because she "didn't like the way the first one looked". Obviously, I tapped into my inner man and thought to myself "My God! Women are insane! What the fuck is wrong with them?!" but proceeded to walk to the car quietly without yelling at my clearly insane mother. I've actually caught myself on the verge of screaming "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DO YOU ENJOY DRAINING WHAT LITTLE PEACE AND SANITY I HAVE LEFT?!" and then I remember she gave me life, a place to live, food, blah blah blah. So yes, testosterone tends to make you a bit more aggressive than you really are, but you don't really turn into this Hulk menace who terrorizes the entire city. You don't go on a puppy-killing, candy-stealing, money-robbing, sexual harassment spree. Not even close. However, you DO get moody and emotional from time to time. You DO get days where you could just eat a whole zebra (oh yeah, I just quoted Simba from Lion King). You DO "eye-fuck" pretty much anything with a pulse. And you DO get nasty break outs all over your face and some parts of your body. But that's enough of this negative-ness. Let's get into the positive stuff before I scare you off.


I started writing this post about a week ago and I've notice a little bit of change since then. I shall elaborate. Ahem. I have officially noticed an itty, bitty change in my voice. Excuse me while I celebrate: AAAAAWWWW  YYYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!. As I was saying, my voice has gotten just a tiny bit deeper and less annoying to my ears. It's not a HUGE change, but it's definitely a change. I also noticed a bit of change on my facial hair. This is harder for me to confirm because I've ALWAYS had facial hair, it's in my genes and I can't help it. I'm used to having facial hair and I honestly can't tell if it's just my imagination or if a new pattern is arising. But since I'm all about the positive vibes now, I'll assume it's a real change. So finally, after an array of annoying "negative" effects, the grass has turned greener, the sun is starting to rise, and I have my copy of Born This Way DELUXE Version. All is right in the world. Sort of...




Stay frosty.


*NOTE: As you may have noticed from my previous posts, I am sarcastic and I tend to put A LOT of humor into these posts. Therefore, any remark about me hating my mother, or wanting to ship her to Antartica is NOT TRUE. Wait, I never said I wanted to ship her to Antartica, right? Oops. Anyways, I'm a huge "mama's boy" so don't get yerr thongs in a twist and just enjoy the humor.


No mothers were harmed in the making of this post.